Who's up for a Challenge???

Mass notice to all my bloggy buddies! Dysfunctional Barbie is hosting challenge this month and looking for sign ups! If you're interested in joining contact her at her blog http://dysfunctionalbarbie01.blogspot.com/ and let her know! Hope to see you all there, Pepa

I think I already commented on all my bloggy buddies pages about this anyway, but here's a reminder so lets do this!

Weekly Weigh In 10

Yeah I've been a terrible blogger lately, I know. There really hasn't been much quality material in my life to post about and I don't have the energy to think up a new topic to post on lately. Some of my family is coming down this weekend and I need to focus on preparing the guest room and rest of the house to have a weeks worth of guests to contend with. I promise I'll try to write something worthwhile soon, but for now here are this weeks results...

Down 2 pounds this week! Well it was only 1 pound as of "offcial weigh" yesterday, but today I had another so I had to add it! Whatever makes you feel better right? I am seeing a huge difference in my appetite on the Phen, I actually only ate 2 times yesterday- I know that's bad, but it goes to show how well it works in that regard. I don't really notice extra energy, but I'm losing weight so I'm not complaining one bit! I am alternating taking a half pill and a whole pill depending on my level of activity and so far it seems to be working out quite nicely. Again, I promise a more in depth update soon and until then, keep kicking ass girls, we are AMAZING!

Weekly Weigh In 9

Further updates later, extremely busy:


Weight down 4.8 pounds since last week, yah! Also updated for my May measurements located on the weight stats page.

Weekly Weigh In 8

This week I only lost .2 lbs. I had TOM though and some really nasty post nasal drip all week though and probably ate a little more than usual and most certainly worked out less. I can't beat myself up though because I did see .8 lower in the middle of the week. I started taking Phentermine on Sunday and hope it gives me the kick I need to start losing more consistently. My blood work came back normal other than having a slightly lowered CO2 level, so my thyroid appears to be functioning normally. The DR thinks the phen should help and I'm anxious to see how far it will take me. I have a 30 day supply and can refill once if my blood pressure stays in check by the end of the first month on it. I can't say that I'm bouncing off the walls or anything, but it does make me feel more alert and I kinda crash around midnight so I've been sleeping well the last few days too. I have a lot to attend to today so I will have to fill you guys in on all the details later, peace for now.

The Hardest Thing I've Ever Had To Do...

DH called me last night from his Chief's phone. DH: "I need to talk to you. They are offering me a way home, no harm- no foul if I need to so I can get help and continue my recovery if need be and I could leave on the 22nd. Medical was worried I was trying to overdose (not the case) and everyone is concerned about my well being. I don't know, what should I do?" Me: "Do you want to stay? If you do, would you be able to keep it together and let things go? Will someone help you get things with medical straightened out? Will the offer be on the table later if things get rough or is it a one time shot? I worry that if you came home, you would feel like a failure (since you didn't complete you last tour either) one day, maybe not now, but one day. I would love to have you home more than anything, but I want you to do what you need to do." DH: "I need to do my job, that's what I need to do..."

The hardest thing I've ever had to do... was to tell you to stay because I love you enough to let you go. Come home to me safe, I love you.

Don't Know What To Do...

Today is day 59 of DH's deployment and it's the first time I have cried my eyes out for other than the fact that he's gone. He is going through some really tough shit and really lost it today during our Skype call. Either he lost his phone or someone stole it, so he has to get another one for starters. Then he thinks someone stole most of his anti-depressants and medical refuses to give him a refill and thinks he has been abusing them. I KNOW that't not the case because he commented to me a week ago that they only gave him 7 on his refill and we both thought that was odd. He didn't check the new bottle until his first bottle went missing so he had no idea that medical initially gave him 30 pills. He was threatening not to go to work tomorrow because if he did he was sure to get into a fight with someone. His outburst took me straight back to last year when he was so ready to throw it all away. I don't know what to do and I'm really freaking out. I know my husband and I know how quickly his moods can change, so I don't want to contact someone and get him into a bigger shit storm in case he has a miraculous recovery, but I feel so helpless. He hasn't been like this in so long now... he was doing amazing last week and now it's all gone to shit. I can only pray to God that he is taken care of and gets it back together. I don't know what I'm going to do today... when this stuff happens it consumes me.

Confessions and Ramblings...

I have a confession to make. I haven't been to the gym in 3 days, counting today it will be 4. I have become obsessed with "The Sons of Anarchy" and watched all three seasons in the last 5 days. The only reason I haven't started season 4 is that it's not out on DVD yet, boo. I think I'm going to find a motorcycle gang and ride off into the sunset and become someones old lady. What is it about the bad boys that makes us go crazy? I love Jax to death, would take Opie any day, cried like a baby when Half-Sack died, and have even had some impure thoughts about Tig of all characters, lol! I like this show more than Mad Men and quite possibly more than True Blood or Dexter, that says a lot! If you watch it though, no posts or comments with Season 4 spoilers or I might have to arrange a hit, lol- or am I joking? I was supposed to be working on my Spring Clean-a-thon and organization, but oh well. Guess I'll have to play double duty catch-up the next few days!
Still no tests results and no word back from the dental insurance, but I'll keep you posted. I just spent nearly $100 at Target buying space bags and plastic bins, hangers, and shoe racks so I'm off to organize my closet! have a good day all my chickie's!

Weekly Weigh In 7

Results for the week are down 2 pounds. I'm satisfied, but still feeling jilted by it. I had my appointment with my DR Thursday and she agreed that my plan was sound and that I should be losing more weight, more steadily. She ordered a Thyroid panel and a CBC and said I could view the results online by Saturday. Well, it's Sunday night and still nothing so I'm guessing I'll have them by close of business tomorrow. She suggested putting me on Phentermine and said she would wait until the test results to take the next step. I took the liberty of scheduling a follow up for this Friday so that no matter what the results are, we could discuss the next steps. Not much else to report right now, wish me luck and I'll keep you all posted.

The Rundown

Ok now that the errands are run, I can update everyone on the latest happenings...

Weight Issues: Yeah, still frustrated but hanging in there. I have done so much to get that extra little push in that I know there really isn't much more I could stand to do on that front. I am still plugging along at the gym, I have eliminated extra salt on all my foods (much to the expense of my taste buds), I am drinking tons of water and limiting myself to one (or zero) diet sodas a day, I have solved part of my sleep issues and am beggining to get a better nights sleep, and I am controlling my diet very well. I did calculate my overage and now I am a grand total of 8.4 lbs behind schedule (which equates to 3 weeks). So whatever, I'm doing what I can and I'm just gonna bitch and moan and get over it.

Dental Issues: Last week I told you all about my appointment to see what could be done about my "alligator tooth". The dentist I saw was very nice, I really liked her. She suggested that I get invisalign (or regular braces) because removing the tooth with it being so far out of line and then having to replace it would cause me to need veneers on four of my front teeth to even them out which would be just as expensive as braces and leave my without a natural tooth. The reasoning all sounded good to me and I am totally open to invisalign. Well, next they had the financial person come in to talk to me about the pricing and as it turns out, my insurance doesnt cover me for orthodontic work because I'm over 23. WTH? I never knew that was the case, if I had I would have went for a consult years ago, I was just waiting until we could afford it. So without insurance it's $5,400, that's $5,400 more dollars than I have to spend. But a small glimmer of hope here is... since my tooth is pretty far out of alignment the dentist believes that I could have dental health problems in the future such as bone loss, other tooth migration, etc which could in turn affect my other front teeth. Long story short, we are submitting a request to pre-authorize me for treatment for health reasons- not just vanity. I PRAY that it comes through, I should know something in the next two weeks. If it does then the insurance will pay for about half of my treatment. If not, I guess I'll be snaggle toothed forever...

DH: DH is doing really well and actually adjusting to deployment quite nicely. He is dog tired everyday, but his therapy and behavioral training are doing wonders for him and he has managed to cope without any major outbursts or alcohol. He is almost at 10 months sober and I'm so proud of him. He is also beggining to take more interest in his career again and making an effort to get essential training and study for his exams. We'll know the results of his last advancement exam in about 3-4 weeks (we are pretty sure he passed, but did not do well enough to advance). He will only have 2 more tests (one in Sept. and one in Mar.) before he will no longer have enough time to make the next rank for reenlistment. He is still undecided if he really wants out, but I think if the opportunity dropped in his lap, he would most likely reenlist for one more term. He has been struggling with his weight again though, his physical readiness test is June 1st and he needs to either lose 20 pounds, or 4 inches off his waist to pass. These things are a big deal and can in some instances end your career if you are being compared to someone that has never had a failure while you have when going up for reenlistment. I really hope that he can dig deep and find what he needs this month to get where he needs to be. He is trying, but he really traded the addiction of alcohol for food and now is in that lazy state where working out seems too hard. I just have to let it go though, there isn't really anything I can do other than encourage him.

Sleep Issues: I think I figured out a huge culprit in my inability to get a good nights rest... MY MATTRESS. It's only 5 years old, so I never thought that it could be the problem, but I think it's at least part of it. I have woken up with a stiff hip and sore lower back for the last 2 weeks. We regularly flip it and all, I guess it was just cheap. It's even a double sided pillow top! I slept in the guest room the last few nights and got 90% or higher on my sleep efficiency each night. That bed has a huge thick foam pad that my mother in law brought on her last trip to our house. I prefer the feel of a firm mattress, but that big cloud like pad seemed to do wonders for my back and rest. I did some scouting around and damn if good mattress' aren't expensive. I didn't look at any prices until after I layed on them- #1 Choice a aireloom for $4,000K, #2 Choice a restonic for $450 &; #3 Choice another aireloom for $1,500K. I guess I have expensive tastes, lol. DH says I have to wait for him to get home to pick one out so that we will both be satisfied, but I already know we are NOT spending over $1,000k for a mattress, I couldn't imagine. Most of the ones in the store were at least $1,500K, crazy!

Well the Biggest Loser starts in 10 minutes, so I gotta run! Can't wait tonight is the finale!

Weekly Weigh In 6

Again frustration... I'm not giving up, but I am getting pissed. I'm still fat plain and simple so why is my body acting like I'm a starving animal and holding on to every single pound? This week I was up .2 pounds. I really don't want to even calculate how far behind that puts me. I'm really glad to have my DR appt this week to have my thyroid and junk tested... For now I have to run errands, so I have to run, but I'll update more today or tomorrow.