WELL I'M MOVING AGAIN

http://www.heatherrjohnson.blogspot.com

Gah as soon as life gets straight things tend to fall apart again! I've had tons of things going on lately so yes I am begging for all your mercies that you can put up with my absentia! I just went through a technology overhaul which included having to get a new hard drive so I'm starting my technological life over and making things simpler since I have to start over anyway...

Long story short I'm moving this blog to another blogger so that I can link everything to my gmail account and keep all my files, information, and other odds and ends all in one place. Since I signed up under my yahoo email, it won't allow me to change my primary email here to a google account... why I have no idea but whatever.

So until I have time to really get in there and update its a basic blog with all my old stuff imported, nothing special but I'll be back around on the regular soon. Bitching and complaining as usual I'm sure! I've uploaded everyone I'm following into the new blog below is a screen share of everyone I have listed in my reader. If you think I missed you and I should be following you please leave me a comment with your web address so I can be sure to add you. Sometimes things fall through the cracks and I don't want to lose anyone!

Thanks guys and I'll be around soon, in the meantime please update your links to my blog to the new address listed above!

Finally Some Info!

I know that I owe everyone a big update on what's been going on in my life lately so I'm going to try to take a page from Barbie's book and break it all down into categories! So if memory serves me I left off not long before my road trip and I was still updating about my health issues, so we'll start there.

My Injury- So everyone know's that back in May I somehow injured myself and had a lot of low back/hip pain and terrible siatica. I am still dealing with the injury although it seems to be getting better slowly. I went through a lot of chiropractic and they said I had compression of L1-L5 and a listing spine. I did chiro from June to the second week in July or so. I went to the ER sometime in June and was told that they didn't see anything wrong with my spine and to follow up with my Dr. Followed up with the Dr. a week later or so and was reffered to physical therapy with the understanding that if I did not improve in 12 weeks that I should get an MRI to further diagnose. PT started in mid June and I've been going once or twice a week (excluding my 18 or so days out of town) without much change. The changes in my pain are that I don't really have very much siatica anymore, but now my leg from my mid calf down to my toes are numb and tingly ALL THE TIME. It's not a big tingle, but certain things make it worse, like lying down flat or extending my leg out. I still have a dull back/hip ache that sometimes catches me, but overall it is annoying but liveable. The bad news is I still can't really exercise because all the movement aggravates it and then I'm really sore for a few days. PT did massage and exercise therapy which did help some, but I think resting it has really done the most good. PT diagnosed me initially with a twisted pelvis and worked to correct it, but then it always goes right back out of line. At my recent follow up the PT decided that I must have a herniated disk (which is why my body keeps leaning back to one side to avoid it) and that I should request an MRI from my Dr. to confirm it for further treatment. So I called up the Dr. and the order has been made, now I have to call tomorrow to schedule the appointment. Until then I'm going to start traction therapy at PT twice a week. I had my first session on the 30th and it didn't hurt at all while they were doing it, but afterward my hip was sore and now it's back to bothering me a little more, so I have to let them know at my next appointment and see what we should do next. Overall this injury has been such a long and drawn out thing and I'm just so anxious to find out what the hell is actually wrong with me. More updates when I know something new!

My Move- On June 15th-16th, I moved from one mold infested house to right around the block to a "non- moldy" abode. It was hell! I packed and moved everything myself with the help of two friends, but I only had one person at a time helping me, so imagine me with my injury hefting 150 lb furniture with the help of only one person at a time. I might be a young woman with no children, but DH and I have a lot of shit! We managed to get in all done in two days and about 4 trips with the U-Haul. Can I say I was very impressed with my U-Haul driving skills? I got one of the really big ass ones too, like 28ft, ha ha. I looked so tiny driving that beast around! I totally didn't give a fuck and backed that mother up over the curb through the front yards and put the ramp right on the front porch. Don't mess with an injured woman moving 8,000 pounds of shit with only one fellow mover, she really won't care how white trash that bitch looks on the front lawn! We only managed to break a few things, which considering our lack of professionalism in packing that thing down and how hard it was to carry that stuff, I call a win. I got to pocket most of the money by doing it ourselves and that really helped out with the bills and the trips I took. I'm still unpacking the house though because I've been gone more than two weeks since the move happened and now I'm down to no help and frankly I'm tired. It'll all get done when it gets done, I'm not stressing over it at all. The new house looks almost exactly like my old house with only a few minor differences, so it doesn't really feel much different. However, I have found a few things that are bothering me... The washer hookups leak and while I was on vacation the wall behind the washer got soaked... shit I guess my new house is going to have mold now, but fuck that I'm not moving again. The bathroom toilet moves when you sit on it and the stuff I put on the back keeps falling off, I wonder if maintenance can fix that? The bathroom sink has a small leak which I cannot find the source of, so I'm going to have to get maintenance in here soon to look at that. My airconditioning here is not quite as good as it was at the other house... boo! The dimmer swtiched and fan control knobs don't work right, again another maintenance request once the house is unpacked. Other than that it's ok. I like my new back yard, it has a privacy fence and a big shade tree, but there is dirt in some places so I might throw down some grass seeds and pray they hold. I hate mud. My neighbors haven't bothered me personally yet, but they have a LYD (little yappy dog) that likes to bark in the bedroom, which is right behind mine. The parking lot has 24 spaces for 8 homes and yet on the weekend there is never a free space, can we say party animals much because I know we don't all have 3 cars. I'm adjusting though and things will get better once my home is all unpacked and the trash is all removed.

So those are my first two updates, the next installment will be my road trip across country and maybe my trip to Bahrain. See you soon all my chickies!

Where in the World has Pepagirl been?

MOVING FROM ONE HOUSE TO ANOTHER

 ON A ROADTRIP FROM VIRGINIA BEACH, VA TO OAKLAND, CA *With stops in Atlanta, GA, Biloxi, MS, New Orleans, LA, Roswell, NM, Grand Canyon, AZ, and Las Vegas, NV!!!

AND 10,000 MILES AWAY FROM HOME TO THE KINGDOM OF BAHRAIN TO SEE MY DH!

I'll post more pics and tell you ladies about my adventures soon, for now I'm swamped trying to finally take care of things back home since I've been out of town for what seems like forever! I have to finish unpacking and then fixing up a few things around here, like my leaky sink and washer hook-ups! It's been a fun an crazy summer and the best part is I have maintained my weight loss so far! I'm still pinging back and forth between 157-161, which considering my lack of exercise with my injury (still injured :( ) and the fact that I'm not actively following a diet, I'm thrilled by! So I'm not gonna make my goals, but I'm living life and I'm not gaining and I can't complain one bit about that! More soon, promise!

I'm Alive Ladies!

Updates soon, I promise! :)

Little Update

So ladies, I just wanted to give you a little update on how things have been lately. I've been incredibly busy running to appointments and preparing for our upcoming move. I think I will be moving into the new house by Friday at the latest, so right now I've been forcing myself to pack and try to prepare. I have been trying to get out of the house a lot lately too because the more I do outside, the better it is for my leg than just sitting around all day. I'm not 100% yet, but I am feeling a lot better.

I went out for the fouth and saw fireworks and watched a few musical acts, it was a really nice time. I've been missing DH like crazy and can't wait for my chance to see him next month. I have a TON of stuff going on and I'm finding it impossible to blog lately. I've been keeping up with "The Biggest Loser" challenge that Barbie is hosting and have been doing pretty well averaging 2 lbs per week. I'm down to 156ish as of this week and I'm ecstatic about that.

I am also going on a last minute road trip with a friend this coming week from VA to CA and a ton of cool stops in between, so I'm incredible busy preparing for the trip and for the move. I can't even begin to describe how busy I am. I REALLY hope to finish my packing in the next 2 days and be able to write a nice long blog entry this weekend. For now I'm about to have some dinner and then get back to washing clothes and packing! Wish me luck ladies and I hope to catch up with all of you soon!

Epically Awesome Cool Week!

PLEASE TURN SOUND DOWN BEFORE PLAYING, EPICALLY LOUD!

I'm still injured but I began venturing back into the world this weekend and had a ton of fun! I went to a local festival and to a cool dubstep concert for the first time! I'm also still slowly but surely losing weight! Yay!  Here is a short clip from the balcony area of the concert I went to so you have an idea of what I'm talking about here, not your mothers kind of music, lol! Here is a pic from the festival we went to too, it was fun and we got a caricature made and got to make goofy hats, lol.

Silly hat I made with a paper sack, crepe paper, glue and glitter!

So all in all I had a great week and I can't wait to get back into doing more fun stuff soon! I'm still dieting pretty well (enough to lose 2 pounds this week!) but still not back into a normal exercise routine. I'm really scared to re-injure myself. The good news is my sciatica is almost non-existant now! It really only seems to hurt when I lay flat on my back, so that chiropractor is doing something right! Apologies for not commenting very much lately, but as I said things are picking up and I'm just running around ramapant while I can! Hope everyone has a great week!

Full...

So I pretty much have kicked the soda habit although I still have an occasional diet clear soda... but you know something really amazing I discovered? Drinking one can of diet Sierra Mist makes my stomach feel so FULL. I used to drink like 5-8 Coke Zero's a day with no gastrointestinal havoc or other malady. but now, wow! I guess it could be a good thing because I definitely don't feel like eating afterward... but then again I feel like I just came from a huge buffet and stuffed my face. Anyone else notice anything like this? It's sure new to me!

We're Going Down!!!

Finally back down in the low 160's! My back/leg is starting to feel much better and I signed on for 4 more visits at the Chiropractor to keep up the healing. I don't really have anything else to report since last update, I'm just glad to see that number going down again! I really want to see 15-? by next weigh in, so I'm going to just keep the diet up and do as much activity as I can. Have a lovely week ladies and I'll post again soon!

Just an Update!!!

Chiroprator yesterday was amazing! I saw a new DR that did this really neat, albeit painful move that popped my hips on both sides. I felt really sore after that, but my range of motion seems to be improving with each visit and my hip looks like it is starting to lower back into place. I'm still having some pain, but things are feeling better! I also hopped on the scale this morning and my weight is back down! HOORAY! I just hope it stays there or goes lower for the weigh in on Sunday!

I also stopped into the housing office yesterday to get my answers on this move. I don't know if I told you all or not, but they were trying to move us into another 3 bedroom (about 70 sq ft smaller though) and it had stairs. I told them repeatedly that I couldn't handle stairs while I'm dealing with this injury and wanted to know what would happen if I refused the home they were offering. Well I got my answer yesterday, nothing. They will just have to wait for a single story to open up! I'm really happy about that because it gives me time to nurse my injury and hopefully the next house we are offered wont' be smaller. I'll take equal or bigger, but smaller seems unfair even if it has the same amount of bedrooms. What I'm scared of is being offered a 2 bedroom (because technically, that's all we qualify for) and they would have the "right" to only offer us that if that's what it came to. The 2 bedroom single stories over here are as small as 650 sq ft!!! The house we are in now is 1310 sq ft, I could not imagine putting all our stuff into a home that small. I would hate it, but if that happened I think I'd just leave military housing all together. I need space, I lived in a single-wide trailer my whole life before marriage and I just refuse to go back to a sardine can. I cant, I wont. Some of the 3 bedrooms go up to 1700 sq ft with garages, that would be nice as hell, but those are all 2 story except the handicap homes and I doubt they would offer us one of those even it it came available because obviously there are people that are truly handicapped and would need it over me. I was told to call in as often as I liked to inquire on the openings, so I think I'll do that every Monday and Thursday until we get another offer. I hope it takes at least 2 weeks though and I'm sure it will, people move a lot in the military, but not everyday and when we are waiting on such a specific floor plan it will take longer I'm sure.

That's about all my updates for now I believe, thank you everyone for being so supportive to me through all this. It means a lot to know there are people (strangers even) that care and want to help inspire me. I love you guys, every single one! Thanks!

I Now Know What it Feels Like to be Old...

I never want my body to break down after experiencing the last few days, it's depressing. I'm a feeling a lot better in my back and hip, but I am still having terrible Sciatica and am not able to workout. Food choices have been ok and I've been staying between 1200 and 1800 calories a day for the last week. The scales have not been kind though and my weight keeps fluctuating between 166 and 169. I understand my body must be in metabolic shock since my exercise routine ended so abruptly and I'm a a little constipated due to all the meds they have me on. I want to start seeing a loss and it's so frustrating knowing that I'm essentially doing all I can. I could cut down to 1000-1200 a day, but that would be killer since I'm a boredom eater and face it, when you can barely move, you get bored.

I truly have a lot that I need to write about but, the time seems to escape me. I am so behind on my daily activities that I push blogging off even if I'm not getting those things done. So in short here's an update to my week. 1) Back / hip pain 80% better, 2) Sciatica, no change can be excruciating at times, 3) ER visit Tuesday got stronger pain killers, but said my xrays were normal- totally conflicts with the xrays I laid eyes on at the chiropractor, 4) in a vicodin/valium/ibuprofen induced coma Wednesday morning, I missed my physical therapy appointment and the next one available wasn't until the 26th, 5) I cleaned my kitchen last night- win for me, 6) I slept for 26 hours straight the other night, 7) housing still up in the air, trying to get details- will update soon, 8) chiropractor seems to be helping, doing decompression, adjustments, and electrostem (love the electrostem), 9) haven't called dentist, seems pointless in my current condition, afraid I'll miss the appeals deadline for my claim though, 10) did a total Twilight-a-thon and really miss DH now, 11) actually left my house to do something other than see the DR yesterday, first time all week, 12) need to schedule another DR appointment before physical therapy to work on pain management, 13) haven't food journaled in days or written in my "deployment diary" since the 4th and have a lot of entries to make up.

I think that sums up in a nutshell what I wanted to share. I'll come back in a few days and fill you in on all the specifics, but for now that's about all I can handle. Good luck chickies and I miss you guys!

I am ready to SAW off my leg!

This shit has got be fixed quick, I am fucking dying over here! I went to the chiropractor today and got a few answers, but still have a long road ahead. To make a long long story short... my spine is straight as a toothpick. No curve in the lumbar or sacrum, at all. Whether this has been the story of my life or a result of some freak injury is unclear. I have another appointment with him tomorrow right after my physical therapy and I am seriously considering driving to urgent care tonight so that my actual Dr's are forced to take X-rays and see this shit for themselves... pulled muscle my ass! Maybe both, but not just. I did a quick session of decompression therapy today and it seemed to help in the moment, but as soon as I had to sit down in my car the sciatic pain shot through my leg like lightning and I am again almost imobile. The chiropractor did a very short adjustment as well, but I'm not sure if that did anything or not... it was just a few sharp jabs or whatever, but he said he would do more tomorrow.

He also pointed out that I am listing heavily to the right, if I showed you the pictures he took you'd be like WTF? I've been in so much pain and so busy the last few days I haven't really checked myself out in a mirror in over a week. I cried when I got home and looked at how my hips look. It's like one whole side of me is potruding out a good 6 to 8 inches more than the other. I look like some deformed freak of nature standing there with my hip like a huge mountain on the side of my body. How did I not notice this? How did the doctor that did my initial exam not notice that something was seriously amiss? I told the chiropractor I would root around and find some old photos of me standing to prove that I haven't always been the hunch-hip of notre dame and I think I'll probably use the one that's on my old blog of my weigh in side by sides. I'm just completely depressed right now, I want to be fixed so bad and I feel so helpless. Did I mention that my insurance doesn't cover chiropractic at all? The Dr said he'd work with me, so I'm hoping that things won't get too expensive on that front, but at this point I'll do anything to get relief. For now I am seriously going to try to clean my house, it HAS to be done pain or not.

TO DO:
Call Dad
Clean House
Find/Print Old Pictures
Urgent Care Tonight?
Sleep in Time for Early PT Appt.
Cry

Why is being good so hard???

After the last week of being off plan, being good is really hard to do. Combine that with my limited mobility and I feel like a disaster waiting to happen. Today I had a tv dinner, 2 fiber bars, some leftover tortilla chips, and a grilled cheese sandwich. Definitely not my normal diet food (the grilled cheese and chips), but I think I'm doing ok considering the massive cravings for other things. It's almost 10pm and I'd usually be up until about 3am, but tonight I'm about to try to make that midnight because I have to be at the chiropractor at 11:15am tomorrow. My weight was up today a pound and a half, so I don't know what's going on there, delayed reaction to all the beer? I'm really gonna try not to let that bother me, but it's high time I get back into my daily routine. Recording food calories, weight each morning, and journaling. I haven't made an entry in about 6 days, so I have a lot of catching up to do on that. The leg has been killing me today and I've been hobbling around from the couch, kitchen, and bathroom all day and haven't done a thing at all. Being so limited is truly making me crave a lot too, I am most definitely a boredom eater.

I usually don't like taking diuretics because you have to be careful not to dehydrate yourself, but I think I going to try that for a day or two to see if I really am carrying a lot of water weight. I know that weight doesn't come on and off literally "overnight", but it'd be damn nice to see 163 again before the week is out and at least know that I didn't royally screw myself. Thanks again ladies for all the support and comments. I would reply back to you all individually, but my meds are giving me general malaise and just clicking around, reading and replying seems like a feat right now. Mr. Chiropractor, I sure hope you are a miracle worker because I'm ready to actually get my fat ass off the couch for a while!

This Week I Gained, but I'm Proud!

This week has been one hellacious rollercoaster ride for me health wise, but I've managed to pull through it and know that this week is going to be a whole lot better! My cousin got here last Saturday and as I mentioned before, she is not a fan of healthy eating and all around very picky. I did manage to keep at least one meal a day on plan and ate my healthy snacks. The bad was I drank waaaay too much alcohol and not nearly enough water. Her BF came up on Wednesday and we all hung out and had fun until they they left this morning. My bad foods for the week were... pizza on 4 occassions (if you count leftovers), homemade spaghetti w/ meat sauce and garlic bread, a loaded funnel cake, cheese fries, bacon egg and cheese biscuit and hash browns from Hardee's, homemade chicken and dumplings, cream potatoes with butter, and bacon cheese bread. Mind you this was the bad stuff for the entire length of her trip that I indulged in, which was 9 days. Not great, but not completely horrible and I did try to control portions very well. Now as far as alcohol goes... they like to drink and when I'm around drinkers I like to drink too. I never drink alone and rarely have anyone to drink with, so I did take advantage of that. If I were to guess I'd say over the course of the week I had... 2 tall boy bud lights, 2 hard cider beers, 1 mikes hard lemonade, 4 shots of rum with assorted mixers, 1 woo woo shooter, 1 woo woo mixer, 1 sex on the beach, 2 long island iced teas, 2 screw drivers, 1 tequila sunrise, and probably only 1 or possibly 2 more mixed drinks. Other than the afformentioned I didn't consume much other food at all, a few fiber bars, a handful of tv dinners, and a homemade chicken wrap. When you combine the activity level with the overall calories, I think it balanced out in my favor, as I am only up .4 lbs for the week. I'm fairly certain my colon is aching for a nice poo and I'm most definitely still retaining water from the booze and my injury. I am pleased overall that things did not turn out worse. I'm not happy with a gain, but I'll accept it in light of the circumstances!

My leg/hip/back/butt is still hurting and I made a chiropractic appointment for tuesday and my physical therapy appointments start wednesday, so hopefully I'll be feeling well enough to do some real exercise very soon. For now though, I have to lay off the gym and probably rest up until after I talk to the physical therapist. I know I've been way overusing the leg, but how often does your family come up for a visit? I couldn't just lay up on the couch the entire time they were here! We went to the amusement park and walked for hours one day, went clubbing twice and did plenty of dancing to break a sweat, went to the beach checked out the sights, and generally tried to stay on the move. Again, considering my injury, I am pleased with the activity that I did get in. Today however, I plan to relax and watch True Blood- and of course purge any bad leftovers and get back on plan immediately! I also need to clean up the house, so hopefully the leg will cooperate enough to let me bend over and pick up. I was so tired when we came home last night as we shut down the bar, and I slept from 6:30am to 6:00pm. I think I might take a double dose of valium to get back to sleep tonight, lol!

I don't think I mentioned my dental thing, so here's an update on that. They denied me based on age and didn't seem to take into consideration what my dentist said about my future medical concerns, so I plan to file an appeal, but I need to get on that soon because there is a limited window to get it done. Problem is with everything else that is going on around here, I have no idea when I could fit all that in or where to even start, as the dental insurance company is less than forthcoming with information required for the process of appeals. I need to call my dentist soon and get it all figured out.

My housing situation is up in the air, but that is a hugely long story that I will have to write about later because my head is already starting to hurt writing this novel of my latest woes! SO next blog post will include... my mold test results, my information on where I am being offered to move and the details/concerns of up being uprooted against my will, DH updates and a possible chance to fly out to see him, updates from the chiropracter and physical therapist, and whether I have a whoosh after I start funneling water like a frat boy! Good luck chickies, this WILL be a good week and I am DETERMINED HELL OR HIGH WATER to lose at LEAST 4 pounds! Watch. Me. Shrink.

Is Bud Light really light?

LOL, today was a "party" day with the family before they head back home and I've had enough beer to last me until next summer. Do you think Bud Light is better for you than regular been or screw drivers? LOL? Hope you all had a great weekend, I'm scared for the weigh in tomorrow, but I'm confident I can get it done next week!

Thanks for the encouragement everbody!

I'm still feeling down in the dumps, but I'm hanging in there trying to see the brighter side of things. I talked a little more to my housing representative and got some new information. They told me the address of the house they'd like to move me to and I drove by to peek in the windows. I also got to look at the floor plan online. I'm undecided as to how I feel... It is also a 3 bedroom like the one we have now, but it is 70sq feet smaller because it is a 2 story unit. I used to love living on two floors, but it does make chores harder and with my bum hip right now, it would be a pain in the ass. It's also a townhouse set up that is smack dab in the middle of 4 other units. My current house is a single floor duplex style unit that we only share one wall to the bedroom with. I  really like our current house, it's got a big back yard, 2 storage sheds, a corner lot, and only one floor which makes laundry a lot easier. My neighbors are also pretty chill and really don't bother us at all, hell I don't even know their names. I also only have to worry about one other family when it comes to fire, that's one thing I hate about townhouses- if one person leaves an iron on, everybody's house goes up in flames. That's just scary to me! I know millions of people live in apartments, but it just gnaws at my mind that I have to worry about someone else's carelessness.

I'm not quite sure how this is going to play out, but I plan to take me concerns to my representatives and see if it would be possible to wait for another unit that is more comparable to the one we already have. I know it's hard and that I'm sure the problems must be rather extensive to warrant a full move and not just temporary living quarters, but I just feel like it's not fair to lose the amenities and square footage of our current home. I'm just kind of at a loss, all this stuff is happening so close together. Some good news is that my cousins boyfriend is coming up tonight and he will be driving her home on Sunday, so that eliminates my 8 hour drive and stay in SC. Thanks goodness! I don't know how I would have been able to handle all that with my injury and this new housing predicament.

I tried to stay close to OP with the diet today; I had a fiber bar, a small tv dinner, and 2 egg rolls with duck sauce from a chinese place that the cousin ordered at. All in all not great nutrition, but not bad on calories for going off plan with the egg rolls. I also have been peeing a lot today so I hope that means I'm getting rid of some of the excess water weight.

I also went and got a deep tissue massage today and it really helped with the referred pain that I was getting shooting down my leg. I can only hope that it continues to feel like this or better. She told me that my right hip was about a half inch to and inch out of line with my left hip and that I should really see a chiropractor as soon as possible. I think I might just make an appointment tomorrow, cause I am really hating this. It's making me really dread getting old, I feel like an 80 year old grandma every time I have to sit down, get up, or bend over. I also have to call to set up my first physical therapy appointment tomorrow, I hope they can get me in soon. I am so ready to get this all taken care of. I should get to view the house they want to give us tomorrow or Friday, so I'll update you all when I have more information. Until then, thanks for all your support and I hope you are all doing well, sorry I'm so busy or I'd take the time to comment on everyone's pages this week.

OMG I am having a terrible week.

Just found out the results from our mold testing and We. Have. To. Move. My husband is gone, I'm injured to the point of limping around and can't bend over, I'm retaining so much water that I can't get my ring off my finger and now I'm supposed to move a 1300 sq foot house alone. I am so stressed out right now, oh and my weight is up damn near 8, yes EIGHT pounds since last Friday, how is that even possible??? I'm seriously considering a water fast to relieve this bloating and swelling. I feel like an absolute whale and I'm still supposed to drive my cousin home 7 hours on Sunday. I was going to stay and visit for a few days, but now with the move, I don't know what I'm going to do. I feel horrible too because I just entered this challenge and I don't know how I'm supposed to pull off a loss with all that has happened. I know it's not the end of the world, but I'm so frustrated and was so excited about participating. Now I'm just plain depressed and sad. I'm supposed to be able to view the house they are offering us, but I'm seriously afraid I'm not going to like it. I love the house we are in now, it is one of the better ones in this neighborhood and I just know I'll be livid if the new one isn't just as good. I'll keep you posted, pray that everything is gonna work out for me if you are a believer in the power of prayer.

Good News and Bad News

I went to the Dr. this morning and got some good news and some bad news. The Dr. thinks that I have a pulled muscle and not sciatic pain, so that is good because a pulled muscle should be easier to treat that sciatic pain. The bad news is I am not supposed to work out for a few days at least and have to start physical therapy. She suspects that I have unbalanced amounts of muscle and that I would benefit from therapy to strengthen the appropriate areas. I will probably have my first appointment next week and am schedule for 4 to 6 weeks at first. They gave me 800mg Motrin and Valium for the pain in the meantime. Today it was a lot worse that it was yesterday, I'm sure that walking around the amusement park and riding all those roller coasters did not help, but I would have felt terrible not going since my cousin tried so hard to come up here. I am also supposed to drive her home this Sunday and then stay in SC for a few days and visit family, so things are going to be hard to schedule around and right now I'm just feeling really discouraged. I know that somewhere deep in me I have the strength to stay on plan, but when you've been told to take it easy, it brings the boredom eating temptation to a new level. They told me I could still take my phentermine to help with appetite suppression, so I'm praying that it will help me stay on track and not over eat considering I won't be burning near as many calories.

My cousin is really skinny, but she's one of those types that can eat just about anything (within moderation) and not gain a ton of weight. She's been here since Saturday and everyday she wanted pizza, she is also VERY picky in the food department and doesn't like a lot of things. It's gonna be hard to not indulge anymore when I know she will be eating the things that I would love to have. I know she'd be supportive if I asked her not to "temp" me, but truth of the matter is 1) I have to get used to the fact that I can't eat what some people can eat and 2) she spent a ton of $ to come up here and have a good time and I already feel like my bum leg/hip/back is putting a damper on her vacation. I don't want to make things any worse by restricting her food choices too.


I am also sleep deprived today and really wish I was one of those people that could lie down for a nap whenever I felt tired, but I'm just not made that way. My goal is to lose at least 2 pounds this week and end up around 163 next weigh in, but I'd love to see closer to 161 to be back on my original track. I didn't post a weigh in for this week but officially I gained .80 lbs last week, although last friday I was down a pound. Now TOM, my not so great food choices and my swelling have pushed me up a pound from the week before. For the next 4 days I'm going to have to keep a very close eye on my calories and food choices, sleep, and water intake to have any hope of getting these pounds back in check. I actually have plenty more to write about, but my eyes are feeling heavy and I don't think I can think straight enough to get anything else out today. Hang in there everyone and I'll update you again later. Good luck this week! -Pepa

Howdy to the Red Team!

Hello to the Red Team, Gertie, Lyrical, Jel and me! Just wanted to say hi and lets kick some ass in this challenge! This week my cuzzo is visting me and I promise I'm gonna try to be on my best behavior to pull a good number for the team! We'll be hitting up a theme park tomorrow and the beach all week, so hopefully I'll burn calories walking and swimming! I'm currently fighting either A) a pinched nerve in my lower back or B) a pulled hip flexor or lower back muscle, but I'm trying to not let it bother me too bad. I have to admit it is getting worse though, so I might be hitting the DR's office this week if it doesn't get better soon! Keep my poor leg/back in your prayers and lets smash this first week outta the park! Good luck ladies and I'll try to find time to write a real blog post by Wednesday!

Who's up for a Challenge???

Mass notice to all my bloggy buddies! Dysfunctional Barbie is hosting challenge this month and looking for sign ups! If you're interested in joining contact her at her blog http://dysfunctionalbarbie01.blogspot.com/ and let her know! Hope to see you all there, Pepa

I think I already commented on all my bloggy buddies pages about this anyway, but here's a reminder so lets do this!

Weekly Weigh In 10

Yeah I've been a terrible blogger lately, I know. There really hasn't been much quality material in my life to post about and I don't have the energy to think up a new topic to post on lately. Some of my family is coming down this weekend and I need to focus on preparing the guest room and rest of the house to have a weeks worth of guests to contend with. I promise I'll try to write something worthwhile soon, but for now here are this weeks results...

Down 2 pounds this week! Well it was only 1 pound as of "offcial weigh" yesterday, but today I had another so I had to add it! Whatever makes you feel better right? I am seeing a huge difference in my appetite on the Phen, I actually only ate 2 times yesterday- I know that's bad, but it goes to show how well it works in that regard. I don't really notice extra energy, but I'm losing weight so I'm not complaining one bit! I am alternating taking a half pill and a whole pill depending on my level of activity and so far it seems to be working out quite nicely. Again, I promise a more in depth update soon and until then, keep kicking ass girls, we are AMAZING!

Weekly Weigh In 9

Further updates later, extremely busy:


Weight down 4.8 pounds since last week, yah! Also updated for my May measurements located on the weight stats page.

Weekly Weigh In 8

This week I only lost .2 lbs. I had TOM though and some really nasty post nasal drip all week though and probably ate a little more than usual and most certainly worked out less. I can't beat myself up though because I did see .8 lower in the middle of the week. I started taking Phentermine on Sunday and hope it gives me the kick I need to start losing more consistently. My blood work came back normal other than having a slightly lowered CO2 level, so my thyroid appears to be functioning normally. The DR thinks the phen should help and I'm anxious to see how far it will take me. I have a 30 day supply and can refill once if my blood pressure stays in check by the end of the first month on it. I can't say that I'm bouncing off the walls or anything, but it does make me feel more alert and I kinda crash around midnight so I've been sleeping well the last few days too. I have a lot to attend to today so I will have to fill you guys in on all the details later, peace for now.

The Hardest Thing I've Ever Had To Do...

DH called me last night from his Chief's phone. DH: "I need to talk to you. They are offering me a way home, no harm- no foul if I need to so I can get help and continue my recovery if need be and I could leave on the 22nd. Medical was worried I was trying to overdose (not the case) and everyone is concerned about my well being. I don't know, what should I do?" Me: "Do you want to stay? If you do, would you be able to keep it together and let things go? Will someone help you get things with medical straightened out? Will the offer be on the table later if things get rough or is it a one time shot? I worry that if you came home, you would feel like a failure (since you didn't complete you last tour either) one day, maybe not now, but one day. I would love to have you home more than anything, but I want you to do what you need to do." DH: "I need to do my job, that's what I need to do..."

The hardest thing I've ever had to do... was to tell you to stay because I love you enough to let you go. Come home to me safe, I love you.

Don't Know What To Do...

Today is day 59 of DH's deployment and it's the first time I have cried my eyes out for other than the fact that he's gone. He is going through some really tough shit and really lost it today during our Skype call. Either he lost his phone or someone stole it, so he has to get another one for starters. Then he thinks someone stole most of his anti-depressants and medical refuses to give him a refill and thinks he has been abusing them. I KNOW that't not the case because he commented to me a week ago that they only gave him 7 on his refill and we both thought that was odd. He didn't check the new bottle until his first bottle went missing so he had no idea that medical initially gave him 30 pills. He was threatening not to go to work tomorrow because if he did he was sure to get into a fight with someone. His outburst took me straight back to last year when he was so ready to throw it all away. I don't know what to do and I'm really freaking out. I know my husband and I know how quickly his moods can change, so I don't want to contact someone and get him into a bigger shit storm in case he has a miraculous recovery, but I feel so helpless. He hasn't been like this in so long now... he was doing amazing last week and now it's all gone to shit. I can only pray to God that he is taken care of and gets it back together. I don't know what I'm going to do today... when this stuff happens it consumes me.

Confessions and Ramblings...

I have a confession to make. I haven't been to the gym in 3 days, counting today it will be 4. I have become obsessed with "The Sons of Anarchy" and watched all three seasons in the last 5 days. The only reason I haven't started season 4 is that it's not out on DVD yet, boo. I think I'm going to find a motorcycle gang and ride off into the sunset and become someones old lady. What is it about the bad boys that makes us go crazy? I love Jax to death, would take Opie any day, cried like a baby when Half-Sack died, and have even had some impure thoughts about Tig of all characters, lol! I like this show more than Mad Men and quite possibly more than True Blood or Dexter, that says a lot! If you watch it though, no posts or comments with Season 4 spoilers or I might have to arrange a hit, lol- or am I joking? I was supposed to be working on my Spring Clean-a-thon and organization, but oh well. Guess I'll have to play double duty catch-up the next few days!
Still no tests results and no word back from the dental insurance, but I'll keep you posted. I just spent nearly $100 at Target buying space bags and plastic bins, hangers, and shoe racks so I'm off to organize my closet! have a good day all my chickie's!

Weekly Weigh In 7

Results for the week are down 2 pounds. I'm satisfied, but still feeling jilted by it. I had my appointment with my DR Thursday and she agreed that my plan was sound and that I should be losing more weight, more steadily. She ordered a Thyroid panel and a CBC and said I could view the results online by Saturday. Well, it's Sunday night and still nothing so I'm guessing I'll have them by close of business tomorrow. She suggested putting me on Phentermine and said she would wait until the test results to take the next step. I took the liberty of scheduling a follow up for this Friday so that no matter what the results are, we could discuss the next steps. Not much else to report right now, wish me luck and I'll keep you all posted.

The Rundown

Ok now that the errands are run, I can update everyone on the latest happenings...

Weight Issues: Yeah, still frustrated but hanging in there. I have done so much to get that extra little push in that I know there really isn't much more I could stand to do on that front. I am still plugging along at the gym, I have eliminated extra salt on all my foods (much to the expense of my taste buds), I am drinking tons of water and limiting myself to one (or zero) diet sodas a day, I have solved part of my sleep issues and am beggining to get a better nights sleep, and I am controlling my diet very well. I did calculate my overage and now I am a grand total of 8.4 lbs behind schedule (which equates to 3 weeks). So whatever, I'm doing what I can and I'm just gonna bitch and moan and get over it.

Dental Issues: Last week I told you all about my appointment to see what could be done about my "alligator tooth". The dentist I saw was very nice, I really liked her. She suggested that I get invisalign (or regular braces) because removing the tooth with it being so far out of line and then having to replace it would cause me to need veneers on four of my front teeth to even them out which would be just as expensive as braces and leave my without a natural tooth. The reasoning all sounded good to me and I am totally open to invisalign. Well, next they had the financial person come in to talk to me about the pricing and as it turns out, my insurance doesnt cover me for orthodontic work because I'm over 23. WTH? I never knew that was the case, if I had I would have went for a consult years ago, I was just waiting until we could afford it. So without insurance it's $5,400, that's $5,400 more dollars than I have to spend. But a small glimmer of hope here is... since my tooth is pretty far out of alignment the dentist believes that I could have dental health problems in the future such as bone loss, other tooth migration, etc which could in turn affect my other front teeth. Long story short, we are submitting a request to pre-authorize me for treatment for health reasons- not just vanity. I PRAY that it comes through, I should know something in the next two weeks. If it does then the insurance will pay for about half of my treatment. If not, I guess I'll be snaggle toothed forever...

DH: DH is doing really well and actually adjusting to deployment quite nicely. He is dog tired everyday, but his therapy and behavioral training are doing wonders for him and he has managed to cope without any major outbursts or alcohol. He is almost at 10 months sober and I'm so proud of him. He is also beggining to take more interest in his career again and making an effort to get essential training and study for his exams. We'll know the results of his last advancement exam in about 3-4 weeks (we are pretty sure he passed, but did not do well enough to advance). He will only have 2 more tests (one in Sept. and one in Mar.) before he will no longer have enough time to make the next rank for reenlistment. He is still undecided if he really wants out, but I think if the opportunity dropped in his lap, he would most likely reenlist for one more term. He has been struggling with his weight again though, his physical readiness test is June 1st and he needs to either lose 20 pounds, or 4 inches off his waist to pass. These things are a big deal and can in some instances end your career if you are being compared to someone that has never had a failure while you have when going up for reenlistment. I really hope that he can dig deep and find what he needs this month to get where he needs to be. He is trying, but he really traded the addiction of alcohol for food and now is in that lazy state where working out seems too hard. I just have to let it go though, there isn't really anything I can do other than encourage him.

Sleep Issues: I think I figured out a huge culprit in my inability to get a good nights rest... MY MATTRESS. It's only 5 years old, so I never thought that it could be the problem, but I think it's at least part of it. I have woken up with a stiff hip and sore lower back for the last 2 weeks. We regularly flip it and all, I guess it was just cheap. It's even a double sided pillow top! I slept in the guest room the last few nights and got 90% or higher on my sleep efficiency each night. That bed has a huge thick foam pad that my mother in law brought on her last trip to our house. I prefer the feel of a firm mattress, but that big cloud like pad seemed to do wonders for my back and rest. I did some scouting around and damn if good mattress' aren't expensive. I didn't look at any prices until after I layed on them- #1 Choice a aireloom for $4,000K, #2 Choice a restonic for $450 &; #3 Choice another aireloom for $1,500K. I guess I have expensive tastes, lol. DH says I have to wait for him to get home to pick one out so that we will both be satisfied, but I already know we are NOT spending over $1,000k for a mattress, I couldn't imagine. Most of the ones in the store were at least $1,500K, crazy!

Well the Biggest Loser starts in 10 minutes, so I gotta run! Can't wait tonight is the finale!

Weekly Weigh In 6

Again frustration... I'm not giving up, but I am getting pissed. I'm still fat plain and simple so why is my body acting like I'm a starving animal and holding on to every single pound? This week I was up .2 pounds. I really don't want to even calculate how far behind that puts me. I'm really glad to have my DR appt this week to have my thyroid and junk tested... For now I have to run errands, so I have to run, but I'll update more today or tomorrow.

Weekly Weigh In 5

I lost 2.2 pounds last week, a lot better than the previous week, so I am content. I told myself that I won't stress, because I know that in the end stress will only exacerbate the issue. I took a small LOA from the gym for about 5 days and tried to focus on at home activity and eating healthily and that seemed to help a little. I want to try to make an effort to go earlier in the day and have adequate time to rest in the evenings before bed. I'm hoping that switching my schedule up a bit will help get things moving again. My washer and dryer finally came Sunday and I'm happy to report 90% of my laundry is done and I only have a few things left to put away. I am going to work on cleaning out my closets sometime this summer, but I'd really like to lose another 20lbs before I decide what stays and what goes. I am at that point where everything kind of fits, but not much looks perfect yet, so I don't want to give anything up that I really like until I'm sure it's too big.

I have not really been reading blogs this week, so I apologize for lack of commenting. I am experimenting with using the laptop less and working on more projects to keep my energy levels up. I started taking some new supplements as well to see if I get any benefit from them. I am doing sub lingual B-12 daily and a "weight loss" supplement- which is basically glorified vitamins. I also scheduled an appointment with my doctor for next Thursday for a weight loss consultation. I have never actually went to a DR for this purpose in the past, but I figure why not? If they run some tests and figure out that I have a deficiency or thyroid issue, etc. then at least I'll know why things aren't going as smoothly this time around. I figure I'll just get the standard lecture about getting older or some BS, but if I ignore the apathy I'll be able to handle it. I just HATE when DR's act like they KNOW your body. Yeah, you might have a medical degree, but you aren't living inside of me and you don't know how I feel.

I also made an appointment that I have been thinking about for a very long time. I scheduled a consult with a cosmetic dentists about my "misaligned tooth" or lovingly called my "alligator tooth". It might me hard to see in my pictures, but one of my my maxillary lateral incisors protrudes and is farther up in my gum than the rest of my teeth. I should have gotten braces as a child, but by the time my parents could afford it (and they really couldn't anyway) I was in high school and scoffed at having a mouth full of metal. It was bad enough being 270lbs without dental hardware. It's hard to see in pictures dead center, but from the side it's ugly. I hate seeing myself in profile or a camera angle from underneath. I don't really want to get braces, invisalign or standard because I think they would be a bullshit hassle and still too expensive as my insurance only covers $1800 lifetime for them. I want to find out all my options, remove it and replace it with a porcelain tooth? A bridge, a crown, a veneer? I have not idea what can be done, but I know I want whats best for my health and my wallet. Anyway, that's on the 30th, so I will let you all know how it goes. Gotta run for now, good luck everyone!

Weekly Weigh In 4

This week has been rather disappointing... I only lost .6 pounds and I'm still doing everything right. I know we've all been there and my bitching and moaning isn't going to make it any better. I just don't understand! Now I am 4 whole pounds behind my goal weight for the duration, 4 pounds is quite a hefty bit to make up! I calculated things out and if from here on out I manage to lose 2 pounds a week I can make my ultimate goal before Halloween, but I really wanted to make it about 3 or 4 weeks sooner in time for DH's homecoming. I am thinking about making some changes, but I really don't know what to do. I feel like I'm doing everything right and am doing exactly what I have done in the past that has been so successful. I did take my new measurements (available on Weight Stats page) and have lost some inches, but I still don't feel much smaller. Maybe I should explore other diets? I just don't want to waste any time acclimating my body to a new set of rules and losing precious time to "lose".

As of this morning the carpet guys have came back a second time and all there is left is to clean it. They laid a new layer of cement where the sub-floor was crumbling and replaced the tack strip and re stretched the carpet. I have started running the air conditioner now, so we'll see in a few weeks if any mold has started growing again.

It's about 3 in the afternoon now and I do have a lot of errands I need to run, including heading to the gym. I need to go to the bank and deposit/transfer some money, go to the post office and mail a care package, go to the store an buy some goodies for the next care package, meet my friend to drop off my car at the shop, *clean my car out before then, and then go work out. I feel like my days are either filled to the brim or completely empty. Today is definitely a full day and I should really get moving.

Frustration & Mold!

Extreme frustration is my new name! I am so irritated right now and I don't know what to do! To start my biggest frustration is between myself and my housing community. Basically our entire area military housing system (which is privatized) has been under scrutiny for poor handling when it comes to maintenance practices, including many reports of mold that is going untreated. All the stories reminded me of when we first moved in here and my back door wouldn't secure properly. It is a double door that has a blot lock between them, well in a big storm the doors would blow open due to them not being secured into the frame well. I woke up one morning to the doors wide open and the curtains and carpet soaked with rain. I called maintenance to come fix the door (which took them 2 days) and the guy said, "Well there's really not much we can do about this..." and then banged the top locks into the frame with a screwdriver. REALLY? Could you not have installed a cross lock on the inside or something? The door still gets jiggly now and then so I still have to go back in and fix it myself. They never asked me about the water damage or seemed to care and after we fan dried it, I didn't think much else about it.


In light of the new mold accusations, I decided to do some investigating around my home to see if there was anything apparent. I found a big moldy stain in my HVAC closet on the aluminum backed paper and a water stain around it, but it appeared dry. I also pulled up the carpet near the patio doors and found the carpet discolored underneath and the wooden tack strips blackened (moldy) with water damage. I took pictures and went to my local housing office to request a mold test and have the problem taken care of. The lady was nice, but explained I could treat it, then test or test it, then treat. It made more sense to treat, then test, that way I'd know that the problem was taken care of. A maintenance worker came over within half an hour to look at the damage. He used a moisture probe in the HVAC (while I watched) and said that it came back at 1% which is normal for all walls. The thing is, and I don't know how these things work, when he first put the probe into the area it jumped around 30-40% and then as he moved it, it went to 1%. I thought that was odd, but figured he knows what he's doing. He tells me it must be an old leak and isn't leaking now, so when I start using the air conditioner regularly I should keep and eye on it. He sprays over it with white paint called "Killz" which is supposed to kill mold and then looks at the carpet. Same song and dance, then tells me it's not wet now, so... and basically seems like the blackened wood isn't a big deal. I ask if he's gonna replace it and he's like, we can. He tells me he'll be back tomorrow to pull it up and leave it for a carpet guy to come in and replace. I ask if the carpet can be assessed or cleaned since it's discolored and he says he'll let them know I'd like that. He leaves and I feel kind of ignored in a way. HE was TOTALLY nice, but I just didn't feel like the "treatment" was effective. IMHO, I think that a leak doesn't just cure itself and that some investigative work should have been done in the HVAC to see where it came from. Maybe it rotted a hole somewhere else and how now rerouted to an unknown location? Maybe there is an overgrowth of mold inside the duct that the handy dandy "white cover up" killz spray could not reach? The carpeting, I think should at least be completely removed from that section (about 3sq feet) and replaced, I mean there is a line of black shit on the underside where the boards met the carpet... FRUSTRATION!

SO, the next day comes and I had to work, as it seems I always do when maintenance needs to come by, and when I get home I see that nothing has been done. WTF? Guess they got too busy and I figure they'll show Monday. Monday morning I get a phone call from the maintenance office to do a satisfaction survey on my recent call, I tell the lady, "No, the work isn't done and I already asked to not be contacted by phone because they call too damn early and to only contact me by email. I try to go back to sleep, but my peaceful dreamings have been interrupted and it's no use. That evening a guy comes at about 5:15 (they close up shop by 5:30-6) and says he is there to check the HVAC to see if anything new has occurred. Well of course not, because you painted over it and mold doesn't grow overnight like that. I ask about the carpet, he has no idea and says he will talk to someone. I am still frustrated, but it's late and there is no one to talk to about it, so whatever. Tuesday (today) I had a lot to do and ended up staying awake until nearly 6AM doing a last minute favor for a friend. I crawl into bed praying for a good nights sleep, they last few nights when I did actually get enough sleep my weight dropped and dropped and I was getting giddy with the realization that as long as I got 8 to 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep, my body rewarded me! At 9AM I get another call from maintenance asking how my service was on my water intrusion problem, I tell the girl that I just told them yesterday to NOT call, only email and that it was a bad time. She apologized and said they would try again later. (NOTE: IF they call again I'm removing my number and then they call dial the wall for all I care) About 20 minutes later as I am just about to be asleep again, the doorbell rings. FUCK! I am sleeping on the couch and I yell "JUST A MINUTE", check the peephole and it's obviously someone with maintenance. I run to the room to put on clothes (yes, I sleep semi-nude) and by time I get back they are gone, completely gone. I am pissed, they HAD HAD HAD to have heard me. I call the resident office trying to figure out who it was and what they wanted. To make a really long story a little shorter, after a few calls they figure out it was the carpet contractor come to look at my carpet and assess what needed to be done. I tell her to tell them to come back, that I'll be waiting. They show about 10 minutes later and decide they need to put in some concrete filler, then replace the tack and re stretch the carpet. Then they'll have it cleaned. I say great, when? We decide on Thursday, because I said I had to work Friday and they leave. Not five minutes later, I realize that it's actually Thursday I work and not Friday. I call the resident office yet again and tell them to contact these guys and let them know that I actually need them come Friday. By this time I am wide awake and pissed. I checked my weight and it was up a pound and a half from yesterday!

I am SO SICK and TIRED of having people do this! They call at all hours, work their own schedules, and have little to no consideration for their residents. And worst of all, my weight is suffering for it. I was too tired for the gym yesterday and I am too tired today. I actually fell asleep from 1:30pm to about 5pm, so now I 'll probably be up all night again. I don't know what to do. I can't turn my phone off at night with DH overseas, what if it's an emergency? I also called the store about my washer and dryer delivery, I was told it could be up to 3 weeks and today was 3 weeks with no word. The guy I talk to says he doesn't see anything about it coming in and tells me they should have told me 6 to 8 weeks. WTF? 6 to 8 weeks to have a washer and dryer sent in? How in the hell, why in the hell, would it take that long? I was told a special order clerk would call me back about it today, but no one has, so I guess I'll be calling to bitch again tomorrow. I might just go up there and God almighty if the ones I ordered are in stock, I gonna MAKE them give whatever they have and when mine comes in it's theirs.

It' like 6pm now and I know that I need to go to them gym, I really have to. I need to be home by 8pm to catch the biggest loser (it's about the only show that I'm looking forward to these days and I HATE that they made it an hour shorter to have the stoooopid The Voice results show) until 9pm, then I should should go to the other gym, but I don't know if I have the strength today. I should try to be asleep by 12 or 1 tops too. I felt good to get that all out, but I feel like it's not going to solve any of my problems. Thanks for letting my rant! Dios Mio!

Weekly Weigh In 3

TOM is here this week and I finally had a small whoosh Sunday morning. I hope that the downward trend continues for the rest of the week, I was starting to go a little batty! I lost exactly 2 pounds last week making my 3 week total 7.6 pounds. Only 21 more pounds until my first mini goal! I am determined to get to that point as fast as possible, past experiences tell me that once I get there the going gets really tough. I don't have my book handy at the moment to say how many days I went to the gym last week, but I am guessing 5 out of 7. I did an hour and a half last night and netted a 600 calorie burn according to my body media. I LOVE this thing! It was a great investment and it is really confirming how hard I am working and keeps me on track with my burn totals.

I am scheduled for my first set of measurements on the 15th and I'm curious to see if things are any different. My clothes don't feel much different, so I'm not expecting much, but any nudge down will be appreciated! I think I'm going to do pictures again at some point, but I think I'll do them based on pounds this time instead of months. Maybe one every 20 pounds or so?

Other than that I really haven't been up to much... I basically go to the gym, watch tv, blog, and do it all over again. I'm kinda getting stir crazy, but until DH gets his finances back on track there really isn't any fun money. It's ok though, I think it's kept me more focused on the weight loss. I have been MIA from the bestie for the last week and even though I feel kinda bad for not being around, it is keeping me from over indulging. I know I have to learn at some point how to control my eating and know when to say it's time to leave and hit the gym, but I don't think I'm quite ready for that yet.

I have developed a rather annoying tooth problem though and wonder if any of you have experienced the same thing... Apparently as far as I can tell, my back molar has migrated backward and created a small gap between it and the second to last molar. I noticed that I was getting a lot of food stuck back there and being afraid of cavities and rot and all, I started flossing it constantly and picking at it to get all the food unstuck. Well now it hurts and I'm not sure if it's because I injured the gum tissue picking at it or if I possibly made it worse and forced food up under the gum? I called my dentist office to inquire about an appointment and they are booked until the 19th, but I have a cleaning appointment on the 23rd, so I decided to wait the extra 4 days and have them look at it then. I hope it's not a serious issue. I've never had an abscess or any gum disease, just cavities, so I'm kinda spazzing about it. To stand on my soapbox for a minute, I am disgusted by the fact that I have had so many cavities in recent years. I went from birth to age 16 with perfect dental health and then all of a sudden every two years or so I need a filling! What gives? I brush twice a day, floss most days (yeah I'm guilty of not always doing that, but I NEVER flossed as a kid and I was golden), and genuinely take good care of my teeth. Are some people bound for dental trouble no matter what they do? Anyway, I pray that it's just irritated from me picking at it and that there is some easy fix for the problem.

Mumble Grumble

I've been really good this week, I've been to the gym 3 days (twice one day) and have been staying on target with my calories. I feel like slamming my head into the wall though because I am not losing any weight, in fact I am up about half a pound since Sunday. I've hit plateau's before so that's nothing new, but never this soon! I am usually pretty consistent at about 3ish pounds a week until I get down in the 150s. It's kind of sad that I've been there and done that enough times to know... anyway though, I am sooo frustrated! I still believe that sleep is my issue. I'm averaging around 80% sleep efficiency at a pitiable 5 hours a session. I am one of those people that simply cannot take naps and yesterday I was so exhausted upon waking that only 2 hours later I was out on the couch for 5 hours! What do you know though, those whole 5 hours I got 100% efficiency... It's a little after 9pm now and I am determined to be in bed my midnight, I don't care if I have to throw myself into a wall to pass out. Well, maybe not that extreme, but you get where I'm headed with this.

I know that eventually with all the hard work I'm doing there has to be a whoosh somewhere along the line, but I having a really hard time getting over the fact this is happening so soon. I also worry that my efforts are wasted, I know they aren't but it's hard to overcome that thinking. Do the pounds that we lose due to lack of sleep catch back up with us eventually? Or are they gone forever in the fact that our bodies missed out on having that all important healing time? I actually tried looking for answers on the subject, but the Internet is diluted with so much weight loss fodder it's impossible to navigate. Here's to hoping I'll have a whoosh soon and reclaim my motivation.

Weekly Weigh In 2

Well this week I only lost 1.8 pounds, I am not happy with that, but I am content considering I had a big loss last week. I also know that I haven't given my all yet, so anything downward is good. This puts me a pound behind for the week so I really have to get my shit together this week. Now that my house is entirely clean (aside from the mountain of clothes I'll be washing when the new appliances arrive) I will definitely have more of a decluttered brain! The next big project will be getting my sleep schedule down, I really don't know how to approach this. How do you reset yourself to wake up at 9am, when you struggle to go to sleep before 4am? I know from using my body monitor that I am already not getting enough "restful sleep" with my average sleep efficiency at 82% for the last 2 weeks and I know it's effecting my loss. I'll figure something out I suppose... That's all for now, I have to get to the gym soon!

Old Habits, New Reflections

I just spent the last half hour re-reading my blog entries from last year around this time. I thought I was at the same place that I was last year, but I'm wrong. I am about 10 pounds heavier this year. How'd that happen? Really? As I was reading I came across a lot of habits that I am currently still displaying, Goodnuff recently posted about "teaching and an old dog new tricks", I need to learn some new tricks too. When I'm bored- I eat. When I'm stressed I eat. When I don't have anything else to do- I eat. I eat when I'm hungry, I eat when I'm when I'm not. I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad. The only common denominator is that, well I eat. I need to relearn my body to only eat when I need to eat or else I'm never going to get to my goal and stay there. How many times have I lost the same 20 pounds and gained them back only to try to lose them again? How many times could I have been done by now?

I had a fail today. I am at the besties house babysitting for her and I was tasked to make dinner. Simple enough, I brought my own food and snacks so it shouldn't have been a problem. So I'm making dinner and I'm kinda hungry, but I can't eat my dinner before the kids do so what do I do? I look in the cabinet and see what's in there. Chips! Wow, I never have chips at my house. It won't hurt to indulge in a few. A few turns into a mindless munch session, hark yet! Another bag of a different flavor, lets try these too... munch munch munch. Wait, o'er yonder way, is that a bag of marshmallows? And close at hand a jar of nutella? My my, I've never had nutella though I've heard wonderful things. Let's give that a try. Wow, that IS good, munch munch munch... I was full before dinner was done. Whenever I come here there are so many things that I don't allow in my house that my eyes grow wide and I can't stop myself. How do I overcome that? I knew what I was doing, but I didn't care. Now I'm sitting here a belly full of sugar and carbs, over calories for the day, and a full 8 hours before I'll be in bed. Oh yeah, and 10 pounds heavier than this time last year. At what point do we learn those new tricks? I can't keep doing this, I have got to make food my ex-best friend.

Any suggestions?

Weekly Weigh In

This week was a week of new beginnings. I didn't do my best, but I did a hell of a lot better than I have in a while. I went to the gym twice and tried to stay active at home as well. I completed a few major tasks around the house and have been sticking to my diet plan as well. This weigh in I have lost 4.4 pounds! I'm not surprised since it's my first week really back on it, but I know that I'll have to work extra hard this week to keep up the pace. Hope everyone is doing well, I've been reading but haven't had the time to post any thoughtful comments. I'm still getting my head together, but I'm definitely making progress. Good luck this week ladies!

3FC Followers Please Read

I'm posting here to comment to any 3FC follower:

I don't know what's wrong with the site, I can log in and post, but cannot comment on any of your blogs. I know that several of you are having issues too. If you haven't received any comments recently it's probably because we can't get them to go through. I have been following everyone as usual Jewlz, Jelbelle, Patty, & more, but commenting has become impossible. If any of you see this just want you to know that people are reading. Jewlz, I know you have been especially frustrated with it and fear losing your blogging material. I see you wrote that you also have a tumblr blog... is it possible for you to export your blog from 3FC (or import from tumblr) to send it to tumblr? Or another blog site? I vaguely remember Didi (Bits of String & Sealing Wax) posting something about importing/exporting before, at least I think I did... Maybe someone can leave a comment to shed some light of this for everyone. I've found that here at blogspot things are really easy to navigate and customize and offers a lot of extra features that wordpress does not. I have never used tumblr though so I can't offer any input there. I love blogspots following options too, as I can see everyone's blog that I follow from one page and know immediately as they update- No more random clicking around to see who's posted, YAH!  In any event, just wanted you all to know that I'm still reading. Hopefully it will be fixed soon or some of you will start blogs on other sites. Updates later, Pepa

Falling off Sucks

Not feeling too much like blogging so this will be a short one tonight. Big news! I went out and purchased a couple of nice things for the house, 1) a really cute breakfast nook set for half off at a going out of business sale and 2) I placed the order for a new washer and dryer! I'm extremely excited about the new washer and dryer, my old dryer went *boom* a few months ago and the washer is an old 6 cycle beast so it's going to be a real treat to have brand new appliances. Plus I can wash the massive piles of laundry that I've been dreading to take to the laundromat. It should be delivered within 4 weeks tops because the one I wanted was out of stock- no biggie though just something to look foward to. The nook set I think will stay in the box until we move somewhere smaller. Right now we have a large table with a leaf that probably won't fit into a small apartment- which I'm banking we'll move to next go around. I also got a lot of other odds and ends errands completed and am starting to feel less brain cluttered.

Forgot to mention when I went to buy groceries Sunday I had a huge win! There was my absolute favorite guilty pleasure bakery fudge on clearance for .99 cents (regular 4.99) and I resisted all temptation to buy it! HUGE WIN in my book! Tonight I broke out the kinect for the first time and played "Your Shape Fitness Evolved"... it kicked my ass and I'm so ashamed. It wasn't even hard exercise and I only did it for about 30 minutes. It really goes to show just how long I've been out of the gym and getting out of shape. For those of you that don't know, when you use Xbox Kinect it displays your body on the tv and sometimes does real video of yourself for play back and such- OMG I. AM. HUGE. I'm trying my best to not make this demoralizing, but it is no matter how many ways I try to look at it. I was really fit last summer and here I am 10 months later a fat slob that can barely do the step touch with out getting winded- what happened??? Do we really lose our fitness that fast? It actually motivates me to really go for this balls out now, but I'm really daunted by how hard this is going to be.

Headed in the Right Direction

Today I managed to get off the arse and go to get my healthy groceries! I also reorganized the kitchen cabinets and put away all the things I know I won't or shouldn't eat. I found quite a bit that will go bad before DH comes home so I think I'll post it free on CL for some one in need. I also was miffed to find that I had some freezer burnt chicken and turkey in the freezer. How the hell did that happen? Have I really not cooked a decent meal at home in that long? I truly do believe that this animal was not meant to have a job outside of the home, it seems like when I do things go to shit around here.

I also went out and bought the gel pens and notebooks for my food journal. I got a new "diary" and a day planner as well. I like to keep a diary while DH is on deployment, it gives me a way to stay organized and to remember important things. I'm sure one day when we're old I'll enjoy reading it too. I re-did some calculations since I'm behind now and it seems that the best plan is to aim for 3 pounds a week until June, and then scale back to 2 pounds a week for the rest of the time. I know that as I get smaller it will be harder to lose, so it actually works out well to give myself that jump. 3 pounds is a hefty goal for a gal my size to keep up with for that many weeks still and I know that I need to get started right away. By next Sunday I should be 180.6 or less for my first goal.

After I finish here I am going to eat a salad and then do some more cleaning. I've managed to get the living room in "living" status and I organized the kitchen, but still need to finish in there. I should send Safire a plane ticket and have her come mop my floors, she LIKES cleaning. If you see this you are completely welcome to come and take care of mine for me! :) Actually reading her posts about vacuuming and getting up to clean motivate me in a way, it makes me WANT to WANT to do it, lol. My bestie just got a nice new sectional sofa today and it looks amazing. I don't know if it's just the fact that her house is more modern or what, but I think their decor looks so much better. I really makes me want to just throw all my junk out and start over! I'll have to take pictures one day and let you guys give me some arrangement tips. I really want to redecorate, but DH thinks that we shouldn't get anything new while he's in the military because It'll just get messed up in the move. My only problem is, will we be able to afford it when he's out? My guess is no. He is one of those men that don't see a problem with hodgepodge furniture or dull drapery... sigh.

Not really anything else to say tonight, I should get moving so that I can play with the kinect tonight and burn some calories. Wish me luck!

Staring at my Brain

I feel like for the last few days I've been staring at my brain trying to will it to work. I finally feel back to normal as far as my stomach bug went, but I still can't seem to get motivated to begin. I've outlined before that I am a huge planner, without a plan I am lost. I feel like I can't get my brain into planning mode to get this ball rolling now. I am going to attempt to use this an a "flowing outlet" to get a plan set in stone.

Right now I'm on a backward schedule with me going to sleep around 7am and waking around 6pm, that needs to be modified a bit to at least get me up by 2pm or 3pm so that I can still run errands. I'm a night owl and I might as well embrace it and be happy while I can right? I don't really see the harm when it seems to be the rhythm my body wants anyway. Seeing how it is 3:30am now, I should be asleep by 5am to be awake by 3pm. Tomorrow my plan needs to be to go to the commissary and buy some healthy groceries to start supporting my diet. I also think I'm going to go a step further and box up all the food that I know I should not eat or will not eat (boxes of rice-a-roni, cans of tomato sauce, etc) so that my cabinets are open to fill with healthy foods. At least this way I can visually see when my healthy options are running low and I'll know that it's time to make a new shopping list. Before I go tomorrow I need to make a list, that means making a diet plan...

I already know that my calorie limit needs to be 1200 per day, so I need to plan my meals accordingly.

Safe Foods:
Salads with light dressing
Deli meat sandwiches with no mayo or cheese
Lowfat popcorn
Fiber bars
Light soups
Yogurt
Cottage cheese
Healthy microwave dinners
Oatmeal
Skim milk
Steamed veggies
Chicken breast

That's a pretty good list to start with I think. I need to dig up some of my old food journals to make sure I'm not leaving out anything that I have used in the past. I also need to re-train myself to eat every two hours. This has done wonders for my metabolism in the past and also helps to keep me disciplined in my eating. I also need to go buy a shiny new food journal to start fresh and a pack of gel pens. I think that I can definitely start back on my healthy diet if I follow through with the above tomorrow.

How to start back going to the gym? Just do it? I wish it were that easy to overcome. Today I had planned on going, but I ended up doing some unimportant shit on the computer and watching  2 hours of "My Strange Affliction" on 20/20. I don't have cable so if an interesting show comes on "regular tv" I can usually talk myself out of doing whatever to catch it in the name of "how often does interesting shit come on regular tv"-dom. And now I'm realizing that I'm truly having a problem getting motivated, so I'm here blogging instead of hitting the 24 hour gym. Now considering that I need to be in bed in an hour ( it's now 4:00am) in order to re-adjust my schedule so that I can go get healthy food, I don't have time to go to the gym and should be making my grocery list and or cleaning out my refrigerator.

The next biggest factor in success for me is getting my house in order. I have frequently talked about this lately as well and it seems like it just isn't staying done. Believe it or not it was all done with the exception of my bathroom and our spare room, but then DH had to pack -that really messed more than you can imagine up. Combine that with me working the week before he left and then with the fact that I was throwing clothes everywhere each night that we went out and then he left and I got sick and WHAM! a big ass mess again. I am really going to get rid of a lot of shit this summer, I can feel it in my bones! I need to focus on cleaning tomorrow more than anything else, because I know once it's done I won't have anything mentally valid left to hold me back. If I can validate it, I can use it. If I can't then I won't, I'm at least honest with myself.

On the health front I'm eating an drinking as normal again and there isn't anymore puke or diarrhea so I'm good to go there. The annoying thing is I came out of this illness 3 pounds heavier than I began- ain't that some BS? I'm hoping it's just my body saying thank God you're eating again and that it will come off in a day or two. As of now I am 183.8 starting my journey almost a week behind schedule, this is going to suck, but it has to happen. I will update again after I have accomplished everything in my day ahead. Wish me luck and will my fat ass into the gym!

Strings of Events

I had fully intended on posting long before now, but things have been really hectic and I haven't had time or energy to write it all out. Where to begin? DH left on Tuesday and he had off Sunday and Monday before that so we tried to spend as much time as possible together before he left. We went to see John Carter, went out for dinner a few times, got ice cream, visited friends, and just stayed with each other. We talked a lot about how things went down last time and made some resolutions to make things different this go around. I felt and feel good about it this time.

On Monday night we were lying in bed around midnight and my stomach started hurting. I had experienced a similar pain the night before and cured it with Tums, so I thought it was some type of gas again. I ignored the pain for a bit, but then I knew it was coming... I puked all night. Probably 6-7 times, it was awful. I haven't been that sick in YEARS. I woke up the next day with a queasy tummy but was hopeful that I was better. Wrong! I then started on massive diarrhea... it sucked bad... I was going to the toilet every 20 minutes. I didn't eat anything all day and when I tried taking Pepto and drinking I puked again. I wasn't even able to go with DH to the airport. It had to be one of the worst experiences of my life, helpless I had to watch him drive away and knew I couldn't see him off. I still think I'm in a little bit of shock that I wasn't able to go to the airport with him.

I just layed in bed all day Tuesday and on Wednesday I woke up feeling 80% better, but still kind of yucky. I only ventured out to take a cab to the airport to retrieve DH's car and that wasn't until 10pm. I ate 2 pieces of toast and drank a lot of Gatorade all day. I was able to keep that down, so then I ate a small tv dinner. I slept again and this morning (Thursday), I woke up to a (yes, I'm going there) shart in my undies. Holy shit, we really do fart in our sleep! I'm going to burn those drawers when I feel better. Now I am back to diarrhea and fear eating for it will surely escape in liquid form. Now I'm kind of afraid to drink too, because face it who wants to have diarrhea for 3 days? I have went through 3 big rolls of toilet paper and a whole pack of wet wipes!

Needless to say I have not done anything productive and feel down right weak. I'm about to attempt eating and drinking, but If I wake up to more liquid shit tomorrow I'm going to the ER for fluids and not even going to attempt to use my digestive tract. Thank God I stopped throwing up though, I have a really small nasal/throat cavity and when I puke it comes out my nose and gets trapped in my sinuses and it thoroughly disgusting. I think that's why I have developed an iron stomach for fear of puking!

DH has arrived safely at his destination, I have talked to him twice since he left through IM and he got his phone turned on so at least now that is available. He has indoctrination the next 2 days and then I assume will start work Monday, maybe Sunday. He got put in a better living situation than last time with higher ranking enlisted, but he is farther from his treatment facility and the cab rides will be expensive (about $40 each way) so he is pondering asking to move to the other building where he can walk, but the young and restless that are housed there may pose a problem to his recovery. I just pray that he will be happy and healthy this time around.

I'd write more, but I think it's time to run to the loo again, sigh.

3FC Bloggers

3FC seems to be having a lot of problems lately, I couldn't comment on any of my favorite bloggers over there. If you guys read this, know we still want to read and comment but the site has a programming error (or so says my microsoft thingy).

Bump...

Sorry I've been absent the last couple of days, I've had a ton going on. DH really wants me to snuggle him tonight so I'll have to catch up commenting tomorrow. Have a good bloggy day!

So Tired!

The last couple of days have been SOOO long! I had to close the last 2 nights and tomorrow I'm there until 8:30pm, so I might as well be closing. We had a huge shipment at work today that came only an hour before the other employee left for the day, so I spent 4 hours unboxing crap rushing like hell to get it done so I could clean the place up. I think that's a big reason why I'm so tired of retail, I'm tired of cleaning up after other messy slobs. I have to do enough of that at home, do I really want to do it at work too? Or maybe it's the other way around, I do it so much at work that I despise it at home? Tonight was compounded by the fact a lone straggler moseyed on it at 8:44pm and guess what? This woman was either drunk or high on pills or something. SHE. WOULD. NOT. LEAVE. or take a hint. I tried all the tricks in the book and she kept forgetting which shoes she was trying on, she kept trying on the wrong size and when I'd keep reminding her to go to the right size she'd pick up something else to try on. NIGHTMARE! Then she wanted to look at shoes for her kids... all 4 of them! I told her the register was going to shut off, that went over her head. I turned off the music, I don't think she noticed. She didn't check out until 9:33pm (I'm supposed to be done with the money and locked up at 9:15pm) and you want to know what she does? Spends another 5 minutes looking at coupons on her cell phone, then when I hand her the recipet she says, "What time do you close?" I tell her 9pm. She says, "Oh man, do you know what time it is?" I tell her 9:39p. She says, "Are you salaried?" I say no. She says, "Why didn't you tell me you were closed, I would have kicked me out of here." I tell her, honestly we aren't allowed to tell customers that we are closed, they think it's bad for our image. I wanted to murder her, she wasted about 45 minutes of my life stumbling around messing up my cleaning, talking to me about jibberish and how "some bitch" needs to stop texting herabout getting home because she's loaning her $160.00 and the least she can do is watch her kids for a minute. GOD I HAD TO RANT ABOUT THAT! I wish I could have filmed that shit so everyone could see just what I was dealing with, uhg, only one more night then I have the next 3 off! Then I work saturday, then one day a week for the next 2 or 3 weeks and then I'm done. I seriously haven't been more ready.

Just a Day in the Closet

Just wanted to post to stay in the habit of doing it everyday whether I feel like it or not. Today I was off work and stayed in bed until 3pm, then got up and cleaned and organized our bedroom. I LOVE having a clean bedroom. Usually after about a week of cleanliness it starts reverting to a pig sty with clothing on the floor, shoes placed haphazardly in the walkways, movies & remote controls strewn on the night stands, jewelry spilling out of their boxes and scattered about. I attribute it all to being so rushed day to day, I have on several occasions been in such a rush to get ready that I rip all the clothes off the hangars and throw them on the floor because I can't find the one shirt I want to wear in my overflowing closet. Why is it overflowing you say? 1) Because I'm female and I like pretty things. 2) Because I have a clothes, shoe, & accessory addiction. & most influencing, 3) Because I have a full wardrobe of Mediums, Larges, Extra Larges, 2XL's, 8-10's, 10-12's, 12-14's, 14-16's, one size fits all, one size fits most, 8's, 9's, 10's, 11's, 12's, 13's.... need  I continue? If I actually got down to 120 I seriously get rid of most of what I own and start fresh, with one size, that would be a dream come true! I am going to get my camera and start my photo-journaling soon and I think one of the first things I'm going to post will be my closet! That's all for now folks, got work in 7 hours! 'Night!

PS: Created the new page "Weight Stats" located up top to track my weight and inches. I have already posted my starting inches and will comment more on that subject in my next post.

Six Month Challenge

As time starts ticking away I know it's time to get my plan together and set my goals for the next 6 months. I have some lofty goals and some pretty intensive challenges for myself. I am a very time oriented person, I like to know how my time will be spent and how much extra of it I will have for other things. I need to learn how to condense my daily activities to workout, run errands, do household chores, *self-pamper, and still have **free time. *Self-pamper is considered any activity that I normally skip due to time constraints, examples; exfoliating scrubs, straightening my hair daily, putting on lotion, painting my nails, dressing up, etc. **Free time is considered any activity not planned; web-surfing, tv watching, reading, calling relatives, etc. As it is I struggle to ever do anything nice for myself because everything else comes first, this soon will change. I want to spend this time re-learning how to structure my life and relax. I'm don't reflect a high strung personality on the outside but the truth is inside I'm wound tight mess! The last time I went to the massage therapist he told me (referring to my back shoulder area) "It's like you have steel cables in here." Does that sound like someone in a relaxed and stress free state? I need to learn to take back control of my life and take care of me. With all that said, here are the goals:


Weight Loss & Fitness:
I want to lose 60lbs, yes 60lbs, over the next 180 days. That averages out to 0.3 lbs per day or about 2.3 lbs per week. That is a weekly burn of 8050 calories + (insert calories eaten per week). My resting metabolic rate or RMR (amount of calories burned by doing nothing but living and breathing) is roughly 1,300 calories. I plan to stick to a 1,200 calorie per day diet plan, meaning that I must burn approximately 1007 calories a day additionally through exercise to reach my weekly goal of 8050 calories expended. Did you catch all that? I hope I explained it well. Simply put, I need to burn 1,000 calories a day through exercise while eating no more than 1,200 calories per day. The EATEN - RMR - BURN = -8050 DEFICIT. The calorie DEFICIT divided by 3,500 (amount of calories in a pound) = 2.3 lbs

I know I can do this, I used to burn 800 calories (tracked with my heart rate monitor) by strength training for about 45 minutes, elliptical for 45 minutes, and recumbent bike for 30 minutes. Even if I'm too tired to do anything else I can always keep pedaling that bike for awhile longer to push my 1,000. I'll switch out the strength training on certain days for something else, probably by slowly dying jogging on the treadmill or playing with the kinect. 10 lbs a month isn't a too large goal, but it's hard enough to keep me from being complacent I think. I'm figuring that my daily total workout time plus travel will be around 3 to 3.5 hours, plus my gym has tanning and red light therapy so I'll more than likely do one or the other each day making my total around 4 hours.

I had to go back through my old 3fc posts to figure out how much weight I'd gained and how fast. It seems that on/around June 15th I weighed approximately 154lbs, two months later on August 20th I had gained (which I attributed to the DH madness) to 162lbs, next around October 15th (I know for a fact because I was weighed after I had my miscarriage) I weighed 174.0 (and was quite upset about my gain). After the miscarriage I truly stopped all attempts at weight loss or tracking because of the holidays and circumstances which led me to 190 lbs around January 1st this year (O.O) , I have since dipped down to 184.0 and am hovering in this area. This morning I weighed 182.8 lbs. It averages out to me gaining about 4 pounds a month, I am currently 28 lbs heavier than I was when he can home last time. Dios mio, the progress that I have negated. I certainly haven't worked out any near the way I was last summer, so all the tone I gained is gone along with my strength. I can't fit most of my summer clothes and I really only have a couple pairs of jeans that fit, barely at that. I'm also disturbed at how much larger my lower stomach and hips have gotten. For example, I have this pair of dress pants that I bought in Florida when we first moved there in 2010, I know for a fact that I weighed 183 at that time because I signed up for Curves while there and that was my start weight. When I bought those pants they fit like a nice slack, fitted in the hip and a little loose on the thighs. Now when I put them on I can barely button them and my stomach pooch is so big I have to wear a long top to cover it up. Same weight but my lower tummy is huge! When I lost weight last summer and put those pants on they were so loose I could pull them out in front about 6 inches. I really truly wonder if the miscarriage triggered some "mom gene" in my body and caused this new weight distribution, it's scary!

All that said, when I lose 60 lbs, I'll be 120 lbs by mid-September. I know 120 is very small and its a lofty goal, but I am only 5'3- 120 is supposed to be a mid-range weight for my height. Also, by setting a big goal I feel like I'm more likely to push harder to reach it. Sure I'll be a little disappointed if I don't make it there, but I'll be thinner for trying I'm sure. I am going to re-measure myself again tonight and start a weight and measurement page, I know I'll do tracking, but I haven't decided how often. I got a new scale for Christmas that measures muscle mass, fat, bmi, and visceral fat. I know I'm going to track those numbers weekly and I will post all that on my weight stats page as well. Now that I've given you all the lowdown on my plan, I'm going to break it down and add a few miscellaneous goals in. These are my initial thoughts for the next 6 months, I'm sure I'll add a little bit here or there, but this is the bulk of what I want to accomplish for now.

Goals & Lifestyle Changes:
Lose 60 pounds by September 15th, 2012 to weigh 120 pounds.
Lose 50 inches off the tracked areas of my body
Wear a size 6 in jeans
Drink 120+ ounces of water a day
Burn 1,000 calories a day
Take a picture for photo-journaling everyday
Email DH everyday
Do something nice for myself everyday
Drink more coffee and less diet soda
Take a multivitamin everyday
Complete household overhaul
Make time every week to sew and read
Organize all my old film photos and album them
Pay off my auto loan
Save at least $4K

Did I mention that DH now believes they are leaving on the 13th, instead of the 16th? That leaves us only 10 days, 5 of which I am obligated to work. Sometimes the Navy life really really sucks.