Sunday, March 18, 2012

Staring at my Brain

I feel like for the last few days I've been staring at my brain trying to will it to work. I finally feel back to normal as far as my stomach bug went, but I still can't seem to get motivated to begin. I've outlined before that I am a huge planner, without a plan I am lost. I feel like I can't get my brain into planning mode to get this ball rolling now. I am going to attempt to use this an a "flowing outlet" to get a plan set in stone.

Right now I'm on a backward schedule with me going to sleep around 7am and waking around 6pm, that needs to be modified a bit to at least get me up by 2pm or 3pm so that I can still run errands. I'm a night owl and I might as well embrace it and be happy while I can right? I don't really see the harm when it seems to be the rhythm my body wants anyway. Seeing how it is 3:30am now, I should be asleep by 5am to be awake by 3pm. Tomorrow my plan needs to be to go to the commissary and buy some healthy groceries to start supporting my diet. I also think I'm going to go a step further and box up all the food that I know I should not eat or will not eat (boxes of rice-a-roni, cans of tomato sauce, etc) so that my cabinets are open to fill with healthy foods. At least this way I can visually see when my healthy options are running low and I'll know that it's time to make a new shopping list. Before I go tomorrow I need to make a list, that means making a diet plan...

I already know that my calorie limit needs to be 1200 per day, so I need to plan my meals accordingly.

Safe Foods:
Salads with light dressing
Deli meat sandwiches with no mayo or cheese
Lowfat popcorn
Fiber bars
Light soups
Cottage cheese
Healthy microwave dinners
Skim milk
Steamed veggies
Chicken breast

That's a pretty good list to start with I think. I need to dig up some of my old food journals to make sure I'm not leaving out anything that I have used in the past. I also need to re-train myself to eat every two hours. This has done wonders for my metabolism in the past and also helps to keep me disciplined in my eating. I also need to go buy a shiny new food journal to start fresh and a pack of gel pens. I think that I can definitely start back on my healthy diet if I follow through with the above tomorrow.

How to start back going to the gym? Just do it? I wish it were that easy to overcome. Today I had planned on going, but I ended up doing some unimportant shit on the computer and watching  2 hours of "My Strange Affliction" on 20/20. I don't have cable so if an interesting show comes on "regular tv" I can usually talk myself out of doing whatever to catch it in the name of "how often does interesting shit come on regular tv"-dom. And now I'm realizing that I'm truly having a problem getting motivated, so I'm here blogging instead of hitting the 24 hour gym. Now considering that I need to be in bed in an hour ( it's now 4:00am) in order to re-adjust my schedule so that I can go get healthy food, I don't have time to go to the gym and should be making my grocery list and or cleaning out my refrigerator.

The next biggest factor in success for me is getting my house in order. I have frequently talked about this lately as well and it seems like it just isn't staying done. Believe it or not it was all done with the exception of my bathroom and our spare room, but then DH had to pack -that really messed more than you can imagine up. Combine that with me working the week before he left and then with the fact that I was throwing clothes everywhere each night that we went out and then he left and I got sick and WHAM! a big ass mess again. I am really going to get rid of a lot of shit this summer, I can feel it in my bones! I need to focus on cleaning tomorrow more than anything else, because I know once it's done I won't have anything mentally valid left to hold me back. If I can validate it, I can use it. If I can't then I won't, I'm at least honest with myself.

On the health front I'm eating an drinking as normal again and there isn't anymore puke or diarrhea so I'm good to go there. The annoying thing is I came out of this illness 3 pounds heavier than I began- ain't that some BS? I'm hoping it's just my body saying thank God you're eating again and that it will come off in a day or two. As of now I am 183.8 starting my journey almost a week behind schedule, this is going to suck, but it has to happen. I will update again after I have accomplished everything in my day ahead. Wish me luck and will my fat ass into the gym!

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