Monday, March 26, 2012

Old Habits, New Reflections

I just spent the last half hour re-reading my blog entries from last year around this time. I thought I was at the same place that I was last year, but I'm wrong. I am about 10 pounds heavier this year. How'd that happen? Really? As I was reading I came across a lot of habits that I am currently still displaying, Goodnuff recently posted about "teaching and an old dog new tricks", I need to learn some new tricks too. When I'm bored- I eat. When I'm stressed I eat. When I don't have anything else to do- I eat. I eat when I'm hungry, I eat when I'm when I'm not. I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad. The only common denominator is that, well I eat. I need to relearn my body to only eat when I need to eat or else I'm never going to get to my goal and stay there. How many times have I lost the same 20 pounds and gained them back only to try to lose them again? How many times could I have been done by now?

I had a fail today. I am at the besties house babysitting for her and I was tasked to make dinner. Simple enough, I brought my own food and snacks so it shouldn't have been a problem. So I'm making dinner and I'm kinda hungry, but I can't eat my dinner before the kids do so what do I do? I look in the cabinet and see what's in there. Chips! Wow, I never have chips at my house. It won't hurt to indulge in a few. A few turns into a mindless munch session, hark yet! Another bag of a different flavor, lets try these too... munch munch munch. Wait, o'er yonder way, is that a bag of marshmallows? And close at hand a jar of nutella? My my, I've never had nutella though I've heard wonderful things. Let's give that a try. Wow, that IS good, munch munch munch... I was full before dinner was done. Whenever I come here there are so many things that I don't allow in my house that my eyes grow wide and I can't stop myself. How do I overcome that? I knew what I was doing, but I didn't care. Now I'm sitting here a belly full of sugar and carbs, over calories for the day, and a full 8 hours before I'll be in bed. Oh yeah, and 10 pounds heavier than this time last year. At what point do we learn those new tricks? I can't keep doing this, I have got to make food my ex-best friend.

Any suggestions?


  1. I have a hard time when I go into new territory too. I ended up eating too much this weekend and I'm hoping to reverse it this week.

    I don't think anyone can be perfect all the time so the important thing is to move forward and treat tomorrow like a new day.

    I didn't lose anything all year and was actually up 10 at one point... I'm hoping to finally reach maintenance this year. I don't have answers for you but you are not alone!

  2. I'm the same way, when I go visit my mom's house, all the goodies that's banned from my house tempt me like no other. And it's so easy to not think about it when you're with good company so I hear ya. But I honestly think there's anything wrong with going off track once in a while. I'd say the more we restrict ourselves the more we obsess over things we tell ourselves we can't have. That's how I am anyway.

    You'll get there mama :) Have an awesome week!

  3. Wow, I got super behind on your blog. I swear I read only a handful and before I know it I've missed weeks of someone's life.
    I think the one new trick we've both learned is to be aware of what we are doing. It doesn't stop me but at least I'm choosing what I'm doing instead of becoming aware of it mid or post eating. Now I just need to tell myself that even though I have myself convinced that I really want to be eating the junk I really don't.

  4. Oh crudville. I am the same way when I am visiting somebody who keeps junk food in their house. No kidding. I house sat for my aunts once (they are both very large, and have poor eating habits) and it was a snack-a-thon. They gave me free reign over all the food, and I have NEVER seen that much junk food in one house before. They had bags upon bags upon boxes of chips, cookies, and candy bars. There were also large jars full of peanut M&M's, and dipped pretzels. In the freezer were containers of ice cream, different types of Klondike bars (oreo and reese's), and all kinds of frozen snacks. The fridge in the garage had a giant peanut butter pie in it, and was completely stocked with soda. It was like being in the witch's house in Hansel and Gretel; it seemed as though everywhere I looked there were unholy snacks!!!
    I feel your pain. Last year I was very close to where I am now. My lowest point was 187, and now I am hovering around 200 again. It is maddening and frustrating. I eat when I am happy, sad, and for every other reason. I'll do great and listening for my body for a couple of weeks, and then I go back to over eating again, and I just don't know why.
    I want this to be the year, ya know? I only have a pesky forty pounds to lose- and that is NOTHING in comparison to what others are struggling through. I cannot understand why I have been stuck in this rut for six friggin years. I sloughed off around twenty pounds from my highest weight, and have just hovered around the same weight ever since. Well, to be fair, my "hover" weight did decrease by eight pounds over the last year and a half- but what kind of progress is that?
    Ok, I just realized that I am totally ranting.


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