DH called me last night from his Chief's phone. DH: "I need to talk to you. They are offering me a way home, no harm- no foul if I need to so I can get help and continue my recovery if need be and I could leave on the 22nd. Medical was worried I was trying to overdose (not the case) and everyone is concerned about my well being. I don't know, what should I do?" Me: "Do you want to stay? If you do, would you be able to keep it together and let things go? Will someone help you get things with medical straightened out? Will the offer be on the table later if things get rough or is it a one time shot? I worry that if you came home, you would feel like a failure (since you didn't complete you last tour either) one day, maybe not now, but one day. I would love to have you home more than anything, but I want you to do what you need to do." DH: "I need to do my job, that's what I need to do..."
The hardest thing I've ever had to do... was to tell you to stay because I love you enough to let you go. Come home to me safe, I love you.